Of Birth Control and Pork:
Someone put out a memo:

On February 6, on the Fox "news" show The Five (tagline: "We're not thinking and neither are you"), Dana Perino, the former press secretary for George W. Bush, said of the "controversy" over the Obama administration's clarification for religious institutions of a Bush-era policy requiring employers who provide health insurance to pay for women's contraception, "You could put any other scenario in here. Say something about the Jewish religion or Muslims, and there would be a bigger outcry."

To which "comedian" Greg Gutfeld responded, "If there was a Muslim hospital in America, and you ask that they serve pork."

On February 7, on the dying show Freedom Watch, Judge Andrew Napolitano asked, "Does the Constitution let the government compel Jews to eat pork?" It was an analogy he repeated on Tuesday on the big gay orgy known as Fox and Friends.

On February 8, on Bill O'Reilly's House of Falafel and Pain, Fox "news" analyst and very sexy priest, Father Johnathan Morris, offered, "[W]hat happens next? When the -- when the -- the government comes out and says you know what, white meat is actually very healthy for people and we want to mandate all institutions to provide white meat including pork...Now what happens when a Muslim hospital, if there is a Muslim hospital and they think you know what? Even if it's healthy, it goes against our religious freedom we're not going to provide it."

On February 10, on Sean Hannity Television Self-Sodmizing, fascist lawyer and Israel fellater Jay Sekulow said of the contraception rule, "[T]hat would be like saying...that if the government decided that pork was the appropriate meat for healthy living, requiring [businesses to serve it]...That's exactly the same thing."

On February 13, over on Fox Business whatever, Eric Bolling, whose show's audience consists of 1. Eric Bolling's mom, 2. Eric Bolling's cat, and 3. Media Matters, said, "[I]s there any question that if this were anyone else besides the Catholic Church that the outcry would be a little bit different? If there were, I don't know, a requirement by Muslim churches, mosques, to supply pork? I think the left would be up in arms right now." Radio host and vicious little shit Mike Gallagher added, in case you forgot who else doesn't like pork, "Or Jewish hospitals."

This bizarro talking point started with the Catholic bishops and other Catholic organizations. On January 29, the president of the Association of Catholic Colleges and Universities told the New York Times, "No one would go to a Jewish barbecue and expect pork chops to be served." To which one can only say, "First off, Jewish barbecue? And second off, if you're going to a Jewish barbecue, of course you'd eat the brisket."

It's been all over the place, with Catholic groups repeating the line, some even making "pork sandwiches" from the fantasy meat. Christ, USA Today mentioned it in a pro-Catholic editorial. It's even made it to Congress, with one of the all-male witnesses at Darrell Issa's Obama Hates Your Jesus hearing saying that it's like forcing an orthodox Jewish deli to serve pork.

Okay, mostly the Rude Pundit just thinks, "Hey, fuck all your stupid religious rules about what you can and can't ingest." But you wanna know the difference without getting into which god's hoodoo voodoo is more potent than another's? It's that the alternative to lack of pork access is to eat something else. And the alternative to safe, effective birth control is?

Yeah, contraceptive coverage is exactly nothing like the phantom pork rules. But talking about it sure lets some Catholic leaders and the other pigs of the right treat women like chopped liver.