Marc Thiessen's Nunsense:
Washington Post columnist Marc Thiessen (motto: "If torture was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for people we say are terrorists") believes that some people's access to contraception should be left up to this fucking Mother:


That's Mother Angelica, founder of the Eternal Word Television Network (motto: "If torture was good enough for Jesus, watching this shitty station is good enough for your sinning ass"). According to Thiessen, President Obama's recent compromise on employers covering contraception is gonna piss off that nun. See, EWTN is now suing the federal government to make sure that businesses and institutions that make shitloads of money from the secular world don't have to follow the law.

And Obama ain't gonna compel them to do anything that violates "deeply held religious beliefs." Or, as Thiessen overstates it, "That is not going to happen at a network founded by Mother Angelica. Mother has retired from public life — but her fighting spirit continues to animate the network she built from a monastery garage into a religious broadcasting empire that spreads the Gospel to over 123 million households worldwide."

Now, you may think, "Whoa, wait a goddamn second. This is an 'empire'?" Well, yes, howdy. And it's a tax-exempt empire. In fact, according to its most recent IRS filing, its 2010 Form 990, the empire that the nun built made $47 million last year And it has nearly 400 employees.

In other words, only suckers render up to Caesar what is Caesar's, which, unlike contraception, is something Jesus talks about in the, you know, Bible.

(By the way, the Rude Pundit can remember watching with fascination as the vicious visage of this stereotyped habit-wearer would be there while flipping through the channels. Oh, how she condemned the Rude Pundit. He tried once to hate masturbate to her, but that ended with frustration and a visit to unholy porn websites featuring transgender midgets dressed as priests and nuns. Sweet release.)