Dear Russia: Thanks for Snowden; Now Go Fuck Yourself

Dear Russia: Thanks for Snowden; Now Go Fuck Yourself:
No, really, it's great that Russia granted NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden a year of asylum from the United States government's crazed pursuit of him. Let's not praise too much: it's just another chapter in the story of Russia trying to maintain some of that Soviet-sized hard-on for a Cold War. As Republican strategist Tom Doherty said last night on soon-to-be-deceased Current TV, you can bet that if a Russian spying whistleblower had made his way to here, the Obama administration and members of Congress would have made a big damn deal about protecting his rights and shit. Not because, you know, they believe it, but because it skullfucks Putin in public.

In a half-joking manner, off-air, Doherty wondered why the White House or the CIA hadn't put out disinformation saying that Snowden is gay. That was definitely a missed opportunity, the Rude Pundit added. Considering how Russia has viciously turned on GLBT people, in official ways and in a surge of unchecked violence, he'd've been on the next plane to the United States.

To be clear, Russia has not outlawed homosexuality.  It has, however, outlawed adoption of Russian children by gay couples, no matter where they are from. It has declared, in law, that being gay means you engage in "non-traditional sexual behavior." And it has said that, if you spread "propaganda of non-traditional relationships to minors," you face fines and arrest. "Propaganda" is "the distribution of information aimed at forming non-traditional sexual concept in children, describing such ties as attractive, promoting the distorted understanding of social equality of traditional and non-traditional relations and also unwanted solicitation of information that could provoke interest in such relations."

Like marching in a parade or writing an online post or, in one case, wearing rainbow-striped suspenders.

In other words, Russia hasn't outlawed being gay. It's just made it a fuck of a lot harder to exist as a GLBT person there.

There have been mixed signals regarding whether or not the law would be enforced during the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia. While the Sports Minister said, "Hells yeah, we're arrestin' queers" (in a redneck Russian accent), a lawmaker and the IOC have said that it will not be. So figure skaters beware. (By the way, for a soul-crushing few minutes, look at the comments on that last link.)

The propaganda law was supported by 88% of the Russian people, who, for some strange reason, as if there's some unspoken official support, seem to feel like it's open season on gay people. Violence against gays has become shockingly public, with brutal assaults against gay activists. In such cases, the pro-gay rights marchers or speakers are as or more likely to be arrested than their assailants. In several cases, Russian dickheads show they're totally not gay by kidnapping gay men, torturing them by anally-violating them, and, sometimes, murdering them. And then they brag about it on social media because why the fuck not.

You gotta say this about Vladimir Putin and the Duma: by exploiting the irrational, unfounded fears of their ignorant population, they may hate gays, but they are truly cocksuckers.