The Washington Post's Michael Gerson Thinks Obama Needs to Be Nice:
It's always sad when a motherfucker doesn't even realize he's fucking his mother. Think about pitiful Oedipus, the ur- in the scenario, fucking his mom when he only thought he was bagging a hot queen. At least he had the good sense, once he realized he was a motherfucker, to rip out his eyes and wander the wilderness. Such tragic nobility is thin in this craven age of ours. There's a particular kind of motherfucker, who, like Oedipus, is maybe deluded into thinking that he is not somebody who looks at mothers and thinks, "Yep, I'm gonna fuck 'em." Pretty much the entire Bush the Stupider administration falls into that category. Can you listen to John Yoo without thinking, "Oh, fuck you, motherfucker"? And that motherfucker is so cold, he will brush you off his shoulder.

Today's motherfucker is Washington Post columnist Michael Gerson. As one of George W. Bush's speechwriters for over five years, Gerson is responsible for penning lines that got us into the Iraq war, like that whole bullshit about a smoking gun becoming a mushroom cloud. Yep, Gerson made the lies palatable and focus grouped and made sure that the scared idiots in this country wanted blood. The pathetic part of it is that Gerson seems to have believed in his own propaganda. That's a willfully blind motherfucker who'd make Oedipus say, "Damn."

In his latest "column" (if by "column," you mean, "the dried dog shit that's left on your shoe after you think you've scraped it clean"), Gerson joins the "oh-my-stars-and-garters" crowd in decrying how mean that ol' meanie President Obama is being while campaigning for reelection.

"The brand of the Obama reelection campaign, so far, is ruthlessness," he writes. What has the man who has been accused of being a foreign-born, America-hating communist who wants to take away everyone's guns and round up people to be put in concentration camps (and that ain't even getting into the overt racism) said to give Gerson the vapors? "It has accused Mitt Romney of being soft on Osama bin Laden. It has singled out some Romney donors by name for public attack. Romney, we are informed, enjoys shipping jobs abroad, which is 'just what you’d expect from a guy who had a Swiss bank account.' Obama has accused Republican congressional opponents of social Darwinism and indifference to autistic children."

Well, fuck, at least Obama's ruthlessness is about things that we might consider "real" and not the fantasies of paranoid oxycontin addicts masturbating into their microphones.

Indeed, Gerson misunderstands Obama in the way most conservatives do. "[T]he Obama brand once consisted mainly of inspiration," he says. The right needs to impose this narrative on Obama. See, now they want Obama to be seen as once having been Hopey the Change Negro who has now been transformed into Blackie the Panther. Hopey would have never used Osama bin Laden's death in an ad. Don't we all miss Hopey? Don't we all hate Blackie? (Note: Out here in reality, we know that he's neither.)

For what is Gerson lamenting when he writes, "Obama’s talent for inspiration was the single most interesting thing about him as a politician. Without that aspiration, what is left of his appeal?" Is he bemoaning the loss of something that he so desperately loved?

Oh, wait, here's Gerson on October 15, 2008: "During the financial crisis Obama has contributed nothing of note or consequence. His only recent accomplishment has been to say questionable things in the debates -- attacking Republicans and capitalism for a credit meltdown that congressional Democrats helped to cause, blaming America for Iran's nuclear ambitions, talking piously about genocide prevention when his own early Iraq policies might have resulted in genocide -- all while sounding supremely reassuring and presidential."

Or perhaps the column from September 17, 2008, which says that the Obama who wanted to unify the nation in his early speeches "is no longer in the race" because of his attacks on McCain, which suggests that Hopey was gone a long time ago. Because people like Gerson helped create a GOP that killed him. But that won't prevent them from beating up the ghost of hope.

One last note on Gerson's sad little scribbles. He writes about two Obamas: "There is the Hyde Park Obama, lecturing on constitutional law, quoting Reinhold Niebuhr and transcending old political divisions. There is also the South Side Obama, who rose in Chicago politics by doing what it takes."

Can someone tell this bespectacled motherfucker that Hyde Park is on the south side of Chicago? And that perhaps that difference isn't as strict as he needs it to be?