Karl Rove Plays "Basketball": An Interpretation:
So pudge-headed wrecking ball Karl Rove and his organization/SuperPAC/money-vacuuming hate machine that keeps Karl Rove rich, Crossroads GPS, are hitting the airwaves with a big buy of a new ad that has one writer at the New York Times jizzing so hard it's like he was fucking an asshole of lubricated gold. It's "a deeply researched, delicately worded story of a struggling family" that is "striking" and is so, so creative because it's walking a high-wire by selling "a hard truth wrapped in soft packaging: even though the headlines might be looking good now, the American dream is still in tatters."

Then you watch the ad, and you think, "Really?"

Titled "Basketball," the video opens with white kids playing the eponymous game. Message? "White kids can shoot hoops, too, black president." Then young mom watching in her nice suburban home transforms into old mom whose loser kids are unemployed, living at home, and still outside, messing up the driveway. Dad, presumably, is dead or couldn't stand to be around his failed offspring. Overprotective old mom even makes sandwiches for her stunted adult children.

And who is to blame? That fucking President Obama, you know. Yeah, as old mom says, "I supported President Obama because he spoke so beautifully. He promised change. But things changed for the worse." Then headlines float out about how the economy blows, even though a couple of those are from 2009, when Obama's policies either hadn't yet or had just started working.

"Obama started spending like our credit cards have no limit," which, you know, an American Express card doesn't, but still. And his health care bill? Oh, fuck that shit. Even though, you know, there's a good chance that her slacker loin-sprouts are suckling on that Obamacare teat.

"I had so many hopes," old mom says, probably meaning that she totally fucked up in giving her kids an upper middle class lifestyle, without worry or struggle, so they have no skills that are usable in the real world beyond mindlessly wasting their days playing b-ball. Jesus, Johnny and Janie Loserson can't even look at a jobs website without each other. The codependency of this family on each other is frightening to behold.

By the way, they apparently paid for college with student loans that they have to pay back. You know who backed those loans? You know who expanded loan programs? Just sayin'. Anyways...

Old mom ends sitting around a table, talking to her 20something son and daughter who are still fucking wearing basketball-playing clothes, since no one will play with them since all of their friends apparently have jobs, while old mom tells us to tell President Obama to "Cut the job killing debt and support the New Majority Agenda." And go to their goddamned website.

And that's really just a way of getting people over to the Crossroads GPS website, where you can read the usual Republican template of shit what we tried under Rove's boss, the Bush that's been Brazilianed off our historical groins (but like all such bushes, it always grows back).

Yes, another brilliant ad from Rove and the dude who made the Willie Horton nightmare, assuring "independents" that white bourgeois victimhood is in the forefront of their pathetic minds.