Your State Sucks: A Whole Bunch of States Suck Because They Are the NRA's Bitches:
Hey, gang, while we were sitting here with mouths agape, appalled because North Carolina's legislature is actually considering a bill to allow a state religion (joining other proud NC symbols like the Venus flytrap, the state carnivorous plant; and the Carolina Tartan, which is, redundantly, the official Tartan of the state), other states' governments have gone completely bonkers this last week with pro-gun laws. Yeah, they're shoving each other out of the way to show how eagerly they can guzzle the National Rifle Association's chowder.

In North Dakota (motto: "Man, all this filthy oil money has turned us into total assholes"), two bills await the governor's signature. One would prevent law enforcement from changing anything about guns in a Katrina-like state of emergency: no registration, no confiscation, no nothing. The other would allow for concealed weapons in churches (as long as Preacher Bob says it's cool).

That "emergency powers" legislation has been passed or is being considered in several states that could never experience a Katrina, but, hey, why the fuck not? Like West Virginia, which is also considering a bill to exempt people with concealed carry permits from the National Instant Criminal Background Check database because those fine Americans have already been put through enough to be able to hide their weapons under their belly fat while walking the Charleston mall.

Over in Tennessee, they're about to start debating a bill to allow educators with concealed carry permits to do so on school grounds. But don't worry: armed teachers will have to go through a no-doubt rigorous 8-hour safety course.

And in North Carolina? They're also considering legislation that would ban the destruction of any firearms "found or received by law enforcement." Those weapons have to be auctioned or used by the cops, whether they like it or not. North Carolina will not neglect the NRA's balls. No, sirree.

Meanwhile, today in Connecticut, where the legislature is voting on bills to enact actual gun control, the gun-noids have swamped stores to purchase all the crazy ass firearms and magazines they can because...freedom. And because Connecticut is one of a handful of states that refuses to be just another punk for the NRA dicks, the organization has flipped the fuck out.

Which, if you think about it, is all it really does.

(Note: Truly, the entire nation is the NRA's bitch because nothing can get through Congress, but some passively take it in the ass while others fall on their knees, asking Wayne LaPierre if the blow job feels good.)