A Haiku Review of 2011, Part 1: The Candidates:

One Slimy Beast Too Many
More ethics can be
Found in the eye of a newt
Than in all of Newt

A Very Bachmann Moment
Michele ate a fair
Corn dog wide-mouthed. Envious
Marcus wept loudly.

Don't Work Yourself Into a Froth
Santorum rising
Is just inevitable.
Physics works that way.

Flop
Do not tell Romney
That he’s changed his mind. He has
A dog cage for you.

The Third Person
Herman Cain said that
Herman Cain was different.
Cain’s penis was not.

Counting
If Rick Perry was
Lawrence Welk, the poor band would
Never have started.

Front Runner
Oh, woe to Ron Paul,
Crazy as a shithouse rat,
But, man, I love pot.

(Submit your own 2011-lovin' haiku to "rudepundit@yahoo.com". Best to be published starting tomorrow.)